Fall Back is supposed to be a good thing, or at least more positive than spring ahead. Right? So to be redundant, I am uninspired and tired. It seems like sentences form paragraphs and ideas flow when I'm not sitting at my computer, becoming difficult to capture later. My mind has been a monkey mind today, starting at 4 a.m. In retrospect, my energy would have been best served by just relinquishing and getting out of bed, rather than trying desperately and unsuccessfully to fall back asleep. I could have made some notes, journaled, cooked... something...
Joan Didion, in her book "Magical Thinking", told how her late husband, also a writer, was never without a small notebook in his pocket. He was poised and ready to take notes whenever an idea popped into his head. Many of my ideas are inspired by driving.. which would probably be less legal and more dangerous than texting. By the way, Magical Thinking is well worth reading as a touching and soul baring account of what loss can do to a human psyche, and the rationalization - we are amazing creatures with a very sophisticated mental health defense mechanism.
My husband (is this even what he's called at this point?) will be served the divorce paperwork tomorrow morning. I suppose that might be contributing to this overall lack of energy. Add to that the darkness at 5:30 p.m. and I think the glaring answer is - it is simply time to get ready for sleep.
Sweet dreams.
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