My last post said I would write about the awkward meeting of someone. I'm bored though, so I don't know if this will go as well as I hoped. I mean, writing about it. I'm kind of over the whole drunken deal of it all. Maybe the alcohol has finally worked its way out of my pores. Can I just say one thing in my defense? I do not drink anything other than beer and wine usually. So, tequila and I are not friends. As tempting as those amazing margaritas are - yeah, they're in a barrel like a keg, not made individually --so they brine in their own brine all night and taste so delicious- I think they are hallucinogenic... at least the tequila is - I will be a strong person next time and just say no.
Anyway, I've reached the time of year where I am sick of winter, big time. I'm no longer showing a brave face, trying to stay positive, trying to make the most of the snow. I'm done. I'm ready for it to be spring. It's a simple fact -- winter here is just too long. There must be some type of scientific formula for how long a human can survive this weather before finally tiring out.
My answer is still to fight the good fight - to try to get outside as often as possible. I'm noticing it's staying light longer - it's dusk around 5:45 right now. That has prompted me to run around the lake 3 times this week, or at least try. Monday night worked out well. Last night was so cold I only lasted about a mile. The wind had teeth for biting and I just couldn't get past that. I went again tonight. I am carrying my winter weight right now, which loves to take up residence in my ass and upper leg region. I know it all comes with the winter territory - eating more to stay warm, all the residual weight from holiday overeating, and not being able to get outside as much. I try to keep that in mind. A couple of weeks of spring weather and I'll be in better shape, inside and out. At least that's what the sane part of my brain is screaming at the insane part.
So, here's to spring. Another cool thing is Groundhog Day is only a few days away. For some reason, it makes me nostalgic. It's a reliable tradition, a reliable scrap of hope. Either way the groundhog calls it, we are on the home stretch. I mean, worst case scenario - it's six weeks. Does six weeks compare to months? Do the math. I'm too confused. Anyway, the sun is getting closer, brighter, stronger, warmer and that all brings a huge smile to my face.
I'm sorry I'm not writing too much about the recent experience I had with a guy like I foreshadowed in my previous post. I'm still processing it in my mind and the conclusion today is that it was nothing. It was fun and flattering but I think I am choosing a different path this time. I'm choosing to call it what it is from the very beginning. I'm too liberal and he's too conservative. I'm not going to do it this time - I'm not going to try to create someone to be something different than what they are. It is a strange habit I have. I think it's called codependency. Is this my intuition talking?
The conclusion could be flipped tomorrow but I just think I am leaving the whole deal behind as a learning experience. If you really listen, people tell you a lot in every sentence, every inflection in their voice, about how they view the world and that's a direct link to who they are. And while it might sound oversimplified, each thing we do and say gives a glimpse into what the whole of us is. I don't want to work with insecure again. I don't want to direct, teach, carry, any of those verbs that give me more than my fair share of responsibility. I am dead set on being with an equal partner. Now that is oversimplifying. But I'm tired on this winter night and I know there is an amazing episode of Weeds waiting for me on netflix watch instantly.
By the way, my new high school-esque humor has inspired a new saying for me, "I'm totally addicted to weeds" but I pause between weed and s. Ah, clever sophomore. Good Night and Spring? Hurry.
No comments:
Post a Comment