.... there was a book called "Without Reservations" by Alice Steinbach. She is a single mom who decides, after her two boys are finished with college, to travel for awhile. She is first in Paris, then in London... that's where I'm at so far. There are of course, huge differences between this book and "Eat, Pray, Love", but I like this theme of women who leave their lives for awhile and spend time freely traveling and taking in the sights. It gives me hope of writing my own story, in my voice... a nice reminder that it's never too late.
One major difference between "Without Reservations" and "Eat Pray Love" is that Alice Steinbach is significantly older and her divorce isn't as fresh and raw as Elizabeth Gilbert's. This book delves into finding or maybe rediscovering one's identity at an older age and as a mother whose children no longer need her constant care and attention. Of course, we never stop worrying about our kiddo-s but -- How do we define ourselves when we take away titles like "mother, wife, daughter, ex-wife, aunt" and so on? How do we keep our identity in a partnership or a marriage? How do we find ourselves again, especially if years or decades have passed since we were really in touch with who we were? Or, what if we never were and now is the time to figure out our glorious selves?
Alice also muses over her past a little bit. She addresses some of her regrets in regard to raising her children - things she would have done differently. I think every mother can relate to that, no matter what phase of life we are in. But a new friend she meets in Paris says, "But when you speak of your sons it is always with admiration. Is it true you would like to return and do things that might change how they are"? Good point, Alice realizes. I, as a mother myself, like that viewpoint as well and hope to keep it somewhere in my little guilt factory as a potential wet blanket on the feelings of doubt that might crop up regarding my own mothering "skills", both now and later.
In addition, reading this book definitely heightens my dreams of travel. Travel makes me feel alive. It reminds me of how big this planet is and as I get away from my everyday life, it's like taking a bird's eye view- it all seems so very minor and unimportant as the big wheel of life spins.
I'm thankful to authors like Alice who bare their souls so that the rest of us might learn something. The fact that she is just that much older than me teaches me another valuable lesson. Life is short- too short for regrets and too short to settle for mediocrity or the unanswered "what ifs?" She shares her fears, her dark times, her self doubt, and for that, we can be grateful. She gives me hope that I can realize my dream too.
She subtly touches on some feminist issues, possibly not intentionally. This reminded me of the women who pioneered rights and equality for us. She was in her fifties when she wrote the book, published in 2000. I believe her travels began around 1996. So, her world was very different from what I grew up in. It was a big deal to be an independent woman, less common than now. What a great way to celebrate her independence!
So, happy 2011 and may all your wishes come true, and a la "The Alchemist" what's your personal legend? And, what is mine? While reflection on my past is important, I intend to look forward more this year... as in "what's going to happen next?" instead of "what happened?" It's best to live in the moment of course, but a girl's got to have some plans! Wait, am I a woman now?
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