Well I guess it's not really a surprise to be sick in the winter time. We spend a lot more time indoors, the germs are a'breedin' because it's nice and toasty in our warm shelters.
So I ended up with the stomach flu yesterday and today. My kids did too. We've been sort of out of commission this weekend. But there's no other choice but to lay low and recover.
If you're of a weak stomach, I'll warn that I'm going to start writing about throwing up in the next paragraph.
I'm not going to go into huge detail. I just have to say how noticeably harder it is to throw up as I get older. I mean, it takes a lot out of me. For one thing, I fight it so hard. I have this hope that it will just go away and I won't have to go through the actual act of vomiting. Then when I finally let go, it is so violent. I end up with broken blood vessels on my face. I probably throw up once every couple of years, so it's a very traumatic experience for my body. Maybe I should throw up more often to take the drama out of it.
Anyway, the stomach virus or whatever you call it is not a fun way to spend a weekend.
I'm a little sad too because tonight I was supposed to host Christmas for my kids. Some of my family was going to come over, and some friends too. But we've made the most of it anyway. They each opened their gifts and I'm cooking the duck for us right now. It was my oldest son's request. I've never made one before, so we'll see how it goes. I'm doing mashed potatoes, the whole big feast bit for us because they'll be with their dad next weekend.
Also, changes are everywhere.
I just got off the phone with a friend who talked to me about a job. I'm so excited about the prospect of better work conditions. The stress of my current job is exhausting. It's interesting how you can sort of feel trapped.
A job is like a relationship or even a marriage. And if it's unhealthy, it's not the simplest process to get out. Sometimes people make it seem simple, "Just get out. Find something new." But there's a lot involved. The whole searching process, honing the resume, the interview process, and so forth -- it is a vulnerable experience, for one thing, and it's also time consuming. So, if you're really busy and stressed out in your current job, it can be a challenge to even start looking. I admit I have been a bit of a dreamer in my life, just thinking things will drop into my lap. It usually doesn't work that way. Things usually involve hard work. So step one is recognizing the importance of a change. Then going after your dream.... you first have to identify the dream.
In this case, it's simple. I want to leave that place. I need something better. I deserve something healthier. I deserve to take time off and not come back to a mess. I deserve to be able to leave early for my son's recognition assembly at school without being in tears because of the stress of leaving things unfinished. I truly can't do it any longer. And, I guess that's what it takes for me. I finally have to be pushed to a point where I can't go back, and I can't recover. It's also acceptance of the fact that things will not change, no matter how much I wish they will. I just find myself being worn out and directing energy toward a black hole.
In the meantime, I'm looking forward to having a couple of days off. I hope to take my kids tubing at Wild Mountain or something either tomorrow or Tuesday, depending on how we all feel in this sort of weakened condition.
And.... drumroll.... Tuesday is the solstice. I can't wait! We are doing something special because it's a full moon and a lunar eclipse. It only happens every 500 years or something. I'll give more details later. We're going moonlight sledding with tummies full of warm drinks. There's always a light at the end of the stomach flu.
Peace!
No comments:
Post a Comment