It surprises me, over and over again, how much I can enjoy reading a book. It's akin to the simplicity described by Ani DiFranco's lyrics singing of goldfish on her album "Little Plastic Castle". She sings, "goldfish have no memory, it seems their lives are much like mine and the little plastic castle is a surprise every time."
It's as simple as being surprised by how warm the sun feels on a winter day. My aunt and I were having that discussion a couple of days ago- how remarkable the sun is. And when these winter days are cold, short, and often grey, when the sun is out and the sky is blue, it feels like a different season. It feels like hope.
I was on a walk last Sunday around the lake and the sun was big and orange in the sky, making its quick descent as it does these days. It reminded me of a pregnant belly. It was so big and round, and pulsating with warm, orange life. I was reminded of how my pregnant belly generated heat and vitality, moving visibly under my clothing as the life inside it seemed to run from side to side. The sun was exceptionally beautiful that day and reminded me of a Roman goddess. The thought came to me that no wonder the sun was worshipped, and still is in a way. No wonder humans created these winter holidays to celebrate rebirth and warmth. We can be grateful for the evergreens that add life and color to the white landscape. And isn't it quite genius to have thought of bringing a fresh smelling evergreen inside your home, decorating it with sparkling lights and color, to maybe remind you of the sun, bright stars and hope of warmer days ahead. We can be grateful we can depend on the seasons. We know this will end and the warmer days will circle back around.
In the meantime, the snow is a fabulous entity of its own. My kids and I went sledding yesterday and loved being outside. It was fresh and perfect. My oldest taught his almost four year old cousin to eat snow. She had never eaten it and in fact, didn't know it could be eaten. Her mom and I marveled for a minute at this revelation- why would she think she could eat it, logically? She couldn't eat dirt or mud, but here was this new sensation of having something so cold melt into water in her mouth. It was a neat experience to be part of. Of course, once she started she didn't want to stop. We talked about how the texture of snow is so perfect- it can't be replicated by a snow cone machine, and in fact, the ice of a slushee is sometimes a little bit abrasive on your tongue. I'm really glad we were able to be outside and enjoy this facet of winter. The best coping plan for the chilly, dark days is to relinquish to making the most of it. Go sledding by moonlight. Have a backyard fire. Enjoy it as much as possible.
I finished reading "Zeitoun" by Dave Eggers this afternoon. It's a true story of a family who was victimized by Hurricane Katrina and the chain of events it caused.
I am a little bit overwhelmed by their story.
Here is my review I posted on goodreads: A reminder of how fragile our complicated way of life is - how humans react to adversity, how they behave when all rules shift and the normal day to day is lost. It reminded me of Cormac McCarthy's "The Road" in it subtle testimony to the nature of people, good or bad, when there is no one watching. And how powerless we can be against the forces of emergency response, on an individual and political level. Thought provoking and sad. "
A review I read of "The Road" said it dealt with themes as old as the Bible. I like that description. There's this age old idea of being nice to people who are being nice to us, how easy it is to be kind when shown kindness, but the true challenge is responding in kindness when we're being treated unfairly and poorly.
The book of Buddhism has an interesting related parable:
"Once there was a rich widow who had a reputation for kindness, modesty and courtesy. She had a housemaid who was wise and diligent.
One day the maid thought: 'My mistress has a very good reputation; I wonder whether she is good by nature or is good because of her surroundings. I will try her and find out.'
The following morning the maid did not appear before her mistress until nearly noon, The mistress was vexed and scolded her impatiently. The maid replied: 'I am lazy for only a day or two, you ought not to become impatient.' Then the mistress became angry.
The next day the maid got up late again. This made the mistress very angry and she struck the maid with a stick. This incident became widely known and the rich widow lost her good reputation.
Most people are like this woman. While their surroundings are satisfactory, they are kind, modest and quiet, but it is questionable if they will behave likewise when the conditions change and become unsatisfactory. "
"Zeitoun" made me think of these complex themes of human behavior.
It also made me realize that I am personally very ill prepared for any type of emergency. I am planning to have some bottled water on hand and some canned goods. I actually feel sort of irresponsible in not even having a flashlight. I've been lulled to sleep in the security of this society, but it's unrealistic. There could be a disabling snow storm. What if I didn't have power for a few days? So, some bottled water, flashlights, and canned goods are on my list. I can walk the fine line between being prepared and paranoid.
Once again, I feel gratitude from what I can learn from the art around me, the people who share their stories so the rest of us may learn.
Peace and sunshine.
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